“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22
Each Sunday this summer, someone from our community is reflecting a particular fruit of the Spirit. This week Andrea Ramos-Santos shared about her relationship with gentleness. She was so generous with her stories and her heart. She shared about things that taught her to be hard growing up, and she shared about things that taught her gentleness as an adult. I have thought about Andrea’s experience as a nanny and how she had to learn to move at a pace befitting that of a child. It takes strength and self-possession to temper one’s pace, energy, words, desires, and power to facilitate a feeling of safety for others. Gentleness is not weakness, it’s a superpower.
Since her story, I have also been thinking about the connection between safety and gentleness. When we are gentle, it’s much easier for people to feel safe and drop their defenses around us. When we feel safe, it’s much easier to drop our defenses and be gentle. To quote Jose Datrino, “gentileza gera gentileza”, or in English, “gentleness begets gentleness”.
Like Andrea reminded us, perhaps a place to start is with ourselves. Can we be a gentler, safer place for our own bodily limitations, challenging emotions, and disappointed expectations? Then, can we practice being a gentler safer place for others?
Here is a morning prayer rhythm that helps us open to this fruit of gentleness:
Arriving: Create a small ritual – light a candle or make a cup of tea – and settle in. Opening Prayer: “God of my beginnings, of family, memory, and longings, meet me in what has shaped me.”
Attending: In God’s presence, examine your inner inheritance. Slowly ask, “What did I learn about love, conflict and belonging?” “What emotional patterns did I inherit?” “When do I react rather than respond to others?” When you are finished, you might say, “This is part of my story..but not the whole of me.”
Releasing: Notice if something feels tight, unresolved, or heavy inside of you. Place your hand on your body where you feel this and ask God to be with you here, and gently stay with this without trying to fix it. When you are finished, you might say, “Spirit, I release the need to resolve this today. I make space for your healing.”
Stepping back into life: Set one small intention for your day that moves you towards a gentler posture. Place your hand on your heart and pray, “Spirit, with your help, let this take root in me.”
Blessings, Anne